Through those eyes.

Tuesday was a huge day.The computer is down and I am typing this with one finger, but I want to write it down while I remember.First, I caught her climbing INTO the crib. then, I saw f
Her with her mirror, looking intO it with her hand on her hair. Later, she tried to climb into her high chair. So I set her in it and put a bowl of water infront of her. Then she played in it! Then we went to "class".She made good eye contact.Then when it was time to do the listening program she went to put on the headphones herself and sat on Trisch's lap..But the big thing was that after a minute she came over to me and sat with it on MY lap !!! HUGE ! And just when I thought all the firsts were over for the day....she figured out how to climb OUT of the crib ! Yikes !
That morning I put on a CD of Harp music and this always draws her attention. She makes me pick her up and she watches the CD player. I was watching her face and I would just love to see things the way she sees them for one day.

Listening 2

Today we had OT therapy and another session of the Listening Program. Grace was sitting on my lap when Carey Ann came in with her headphones and cd player that she had used yesterday. Yesterday she COMPLETELY resisted Carey Ann. thrashed, yelled etc.
Today, she went to Carey Ann, picked up the headphones AND sat down on her lap ALL BY HERSELF. She listened, contentedly for 15 minutes!!!!!!!!! I would say the program works. ;)
She is so smart! More OT and another session tomorrow.

Listening

Today we started something called The Listening Program with Gracie. OUr goal is to sit on my lap for 5 minutes a day with earphones on playing a special program to help enhance "auditory perception." Evidently auditory perception affects everything we do from attention and concentration to speech and eating, reading and social skills. From laying on her back so much as an infant, Gracie''s auditory perception was off balance, so to speak. People talked over her, not to her, so she learned to tune out.

This is the description from the program website:

Certain classical music, like that of Mozart, Haydn and Vivaldi, has specific structure, producing sound waves in organized patterns. Within these patterns are vital elements including time, frequency and volume. When listening to music, the ear is receiving the musical sound waves—waves that arrive in different frequencies, measured in Hertz (Hz). These frequencies stimulate the brain, and thus affect different functions of the mind and body.

The Listening Program’s psychoacoustically modified music and patent-pending production techniques are designed to stimulate, or “exercise,” the different functions of the auditory processing system. This enables the brain to better receive, process, store and utilize the valuable information provided through the varied soundscapes in our lives such as music, language and the environment in which we live.


It sounds like it would have been something good for Joy Lin when she was little, or possibly even now. When she was in kindergarden, I helped out at school alot. In circle time or other situations where the kids had to sit still ( remember this is kindergarden) she would toss her hair, or move in some way. In other words, she couldn't sit still. She is still like that. I would always ask her teachers if she paid attention properly, because it LOOKED like she didn't . THey always said she did. However, her 8 year old listening skills seem to be getting worse( at home anyway) but I guess they really know how to tune out their parents the older they get.

Well, Gracie's response was typical. She didn't like it and made it very clear to us that she didn't like it. They said this is normal and that eventually she will get used to it and not fight it. I think it will be good because it will also be a bonding time with me where she will have to sit with me. So tomorrow we have more OT and another session of the Listening Program. Maybe I should get my husband to do it. ;)

Play with your food.

Mom learned alot today and Gracie ended the day with chocolate pudding all over her arms and her shirt!'

Sensory Processing Disorder. Not sure what that term means...yet. A book I am going to read sums it up thusly:
Often erroneously diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD) or labeled "difficult, picky, clumsy, oversensitive, or inattentive," children with SI dysfunction exhibit unusual responses to touching and being touched, and/or to moving and being moved.
I think this pretty much describes where Gracie is at:
Sensory Processing Disorder can affect people in only one sense–for example, just touch or just sight or just movement–or in multiple senses. One person with SPD may over-respond to sensation and find clothing, physical contact, light, sound, food, or other sensory input to be unbearable.

So she is hypersensitive to 1:touch- doesn't like to be kissed- but does like what they call deep pressure( bear hugs, heavy massage)
2:sight- she doesn't like bright sunlight yet she will stimulate herself when she gets stressed by looking UP at a bright light. they say the movement is calming
3:she finds clothing unbearable- HATES long sleeves , long pants and socks!!!!!!!!!!!
4: food- enough said.
But as far a touch is concerned, she registered normal for her age group. She explores anything new by touch first.

Food. She is becoming more curious(curiouser?) about food. She looked into dad's oatmeal bowl and she is starting to check us out as we eat.
Today,She came close to putting her fingers in yogurt at the clinic. Which is a big step. We think she actually tasted it.( THough I wouldn't want to taste yogurt myself). THen we tried it at home. We put her in her high chair while we ate dinner and I had chocolate pudding on her tray. Well, right away she went for the spoon in the cup and then it got all over. Mostly she was trying to wipe it off but she ended up licking her arms! I know what you are thinking. Chocolate pudding mom? What was I thinking? There was a shirt and a bib covered in chocolate pudding! Yuk! Oh well at least she tasted it!
Round 1 and the winner is .... CHocolate Pudding!

Learn something new every day.

Today we went to the clinic and Gracie played with the occupational therapist, Trisch. A little basic information about OT:

A child with delayed development may not show behaviors and abilities that are typical of the child’s age. A child may have difficulty swallowing, sucking, and chewing; developing coordinated tongue movements for speech; achieving independence in feeding, dressing, and using the bathroom; understanding relationships between people, objects, time, and space; and developing problem-solving and coping strategies.

Occupational therapists who work with children are knowledgeable about stages of development and the appropriate milestones in a child's physical, mental, and behavioral development.


Trisch played with Gracie for an hour. She watched how Gracie played with toys and with her. She introduced a big tub of raw pasta noodles and toys and I was curious to see how Gracie would deal with that. Gracie wouldn't touch it, even with one of her favorite toys in it. Trisch told me that sensory development (touch) is also linked to the mouth. When one doesn't fully develope, it affects the other senses.
Trisch said to introduce massage to her to help with getting her to let us touch and hug her. Also we are going to use some sign language to facilitate speech. I should have learned sign language a long time ago.
As I watch each of these ladies working with Gracie, I am fascinated. I am seeing what I should have studied in college when I had the opportunity. It would have been nice to have had SOME guidance at that time. But I guess I didn't think I had the ability or the patience to work with kids at that time. Now I see that I do and maybe God led me to Gracie to open up another door for me.

OT. PT. IEP. WOW!

I am learning a new language. It's a language my sister learned it when when she found out her three year old son had Asperger's Syndrome. The language of Special Education. Now I get to take a turn. My head is spinning!
We had two days of therapy in a row at Advent, well, one inhome and one at the clinic and I am amazed. Because Gracie is nonverbal, she cries as a form of communication. We are trying to differentiate her " I am hungry" cry from her "I need this" cry from her real hurt/afraid cry and how to respond to them, because they are her conversation. We have to learn to speak "Gracie" so we can get Gracie to learn to speak english.
They are trying to get her interested in food to at least keep it in a close proximity to her. Yesterday Carey Anne, the swallowing specialist sucked on a lollipop around her. It was enough to get her to want to have her own lollipop, if she wasn't going to suck on it. Today she blew bubbles in a cup of water. That was fine till Carey Anne put some water on Gracie's hand. Hey I don't like that! she said.
It is very interesting to watch her. She was sitting with Carey Anne, looking in a mirror, when she reached out her hand to her reflection and suddenly realized she was watching herself. It threw her off balance and scared her to the point where she started to cry. Then she sat in her lap and comforted herself with her thumb and blanket and, almost instantly, fell asleep. She shut herself off when it became to much for her.
Everyone says she is so sweet. And she really is. With all these people helping her, including her Auntie A., she's got alot of help on the road ahead. Hopefully, mommy will be able to keep up with her.

More on attachment.

Joy Lin was 13 months old when we met her. We all bonded immediately,( except for the time we gave her a suppository to get her to "poo-poo"- I think she thought better of the new-found trust she had given us at that point!). In fact, all of the families , for the most part, bonded by the end of our two week journey. Most of our children were under 15 months though.
Our trip with Gracie was different. Some of the girls bonded with just the dad, to the point that mom wasn't allowed to do anything almost. One bonded mostly to mom. Gracie seemed to be fine with either of us. But she cried.... ALOT-when we were out in public. In the quiet of our hotel rooms, she was totally different.
I Do feel that Gracie is bonding with us and is an integral part of our family. But affection is taking a long time coming to an impatient mama.
I have been doing some reading and found some points about attachment:

For normal emotional development, babies need a primary caregiver who responds quickly, consistently and lovingly to their demands, so they learn that their needs for food, clean diapers, pain relief, etc will be met. Through these interactions, they develop trust and attachment. Babies need to feel that their world is safe and secure. The baby has an internal cycle of need-rage-relief-trust, which should be completed hundreds and hundreds of times. Babies also need a one-on-one interaction with a caring individual who cuddles, plays interactive games, sings and talks to them. They need to be touched, to receive and give smiles, and to get lots of eye contact from a loving caregiver. This consistent, constant, warm and playful interaction with the caregiver is how a baby learns to receive and to give love.


Orphanages cannot provide continuous individual one-on-one care. In many institutions, a succession of nurses give minimal physical care, changing diapers infrequently, occasionally washing the babies, and propping bottles so the babies feed themselves. Babies are left alone for long hours in their cribs. With a ratio of one caregiver to perhaps ten or twenty babies, she cannot attend to each infant when the baby cries from hunger, pain, and discomfort, or for attention. When she does not respond to crying, the babies never learn to trust that their demands will be met. Nor do they get the cuddling, baby games, baby talk, and other playful interaction they need.. As a result, babies may give up trying to get their needs met, and feel only the emotions of rage, helplessness, fear and shame, never developing the trust, and the sense that the world is safe and secure, that are essential for successful attachment.



I don't see Gracie never developing trust. SHe has come SO FAR from the little crying girl that we met in September. I am just in a hurry for hugs and kisses. So I guess I will have to cherish tickles and when she falls asleep on my lap for now!

Frustration. Mine and Hers.

Sometimes Gracie gets so mad that she slams her hands on the floor hard, or sometimes her head. There is frustration on both our parts because I cant help her and she can't tell me what she needs.
We had our second "class" at the feeding clinic today. We had a step forward over the weekend. Thanks to Aunt Peewee and Grammy Pottie, she is now taking fruit in her formula and rice to expose her to flavors if not food. But back to class. There were 3 other kids there and I guess they wanted to see how she would react to other kids who were eating. She didn't really interact with them and kept to her own. But then they had plates for all the kids with raisins and applesauce and crackers on it. The other three kids started munching right away. Gracie wouldn't have anything to do with it. She went looking for an exit. That's what she does when she is in a situation she doesn't like. So I got her a bottle and we sat with the other kids, but once again but would have nothing to do with the food. I can''t really say that she was watching them eat. She might have been. So I know for sure that this is going to be a REALLY long process.
It breaks my heart when she cries and I cannot comfort her. That's supposed to be my job. She has been so long without anyone to do that for her she does it herself. I cannot even get her to put her arm around my neck, for nothing other that to support herself when I carry her. I read that sometimes it takes as long as the child was in the institution for them to fully allow themselves to trust and love their new family. I guess that will just be a really long process too. But it will truly be worth the wait.