Daily I wonder what goes through Gracie's little head? What does she think of all the new things she experiences everyday. I like to think that she is like Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Christmas" as he falls through the doorway into Christmas Town. Going from the colorless browns and greys of an orphanage to the bright lights and colors of a new world. She is just beginning to enjoy kisses and to come seeking them out. She is starting to give tentative "hugs'.
Everyday when we came home was something new. Heck, everyday in China had to be something new.
Day 1-taken home with these strange looking people who make strange noises. Heck, I make strange noises too. i'll show them.-At least one of them looks like me.
Day 2-they are still here. They took me to this place with all these other people who were eating. I want to be with the people that look like me. Maybe if I cry enough someone will take me.
Then at home.
A home. A room just for me.
The grocery store. CVS. A rainstorm with thunder. All these lights. More people that don't look like me and talk funny.
A seat in a car. (that one made me laugh!) A parade... where everyone dresses up stranger than they normally do. Trucks with sirens. Dogs.
LONG SLEEVES- (WHY DO THEY KEEP PUTTING THESE ON ME? I HATE THEM)
Why is it COLD outside?
The things that fascinate her are the small things. Boxes. String. Fuzz. Shadows. Her hands. A window screen. Anything that makes music. She makes you appreciate the small things.
I wish I could tell her and have her understand that we will always be there for her. We will give her everything that we are able to.
That when she wakes up crying at night food is ready JUST FOR HER and she has a mom who will hug her tears away if she will let her.
I know it will take time.
Everyday is a new journey and now I have a little person by my side again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.
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