Here is one of those smiles for the camera!

Gracie's developement

Gracie was in a Chinese orphanage for 2 years and 4 months. In that time, she didn't get the attention a normal American child gets from day one. I've often wondered what the institutions where the girls came from were like, but not enough to want to visit. My feelings are that that part of there lives ended when they were handed to us, plus I know that if I visited one, I would want to bring home six more children.
I just started reading a book called "Silent Tears". The author, Kay Bratt, moved to China with her husband when he received a promotion from his company. She was able to volunteer at an orphanage close to where they lived and she writes about what she saw in the orphanage.
She writes upon her first visit:

As we entered the nursery the tragedy of it all struck me. The room was actually two open rooms joined by a half wall.On the one side were 20 metal cradles lined up for the bed babies-the ones who could not sit up-and on the other side were fifteen little wooden toddler beds for the babies seven months and up-those who could not walk.As soon as they could toddle they were moved to the next room, called the Kindergarten room. As I looked over the babies, I was shocked at the birth defects, disabilities and LACK of HUMAN CONTACT apparent in their listless eyes.....the room help approximately 25 babies and nowhere could I see any toys or diversions to entertain them:nor were there any coverings or soft padding to make them more comfortable. THey just lay in their cribs crying or staring vacantly at the water damaged ceiling and filthy walls.....Most of the babies had bedsores on the backs of their heads from lying in a crib all day (Gracie has a bald spot). Because of the lack of mobility, they had not developed muscle tone and most could not sit up, roll over or lift their heads. ... The nannies did not appear to understand why we gravitated toward the handicapped. It was obvious that they ignored the children in need and gave all their attention to the pretty ones who did not have disabilities."


Some people have asked if Gracie might be autistic. She might be, I don't know. If she is we will do what we have to do. But from what I've seen even just since her surgery, I think she is developmentally behind by a year. I think it's hard for us to imagine a child without simple human contact. Babies here get love and attention from day one. It's hard for me to think of her as not having anyone to hold her or snuggle with her. Especially when she had her lip repaired. Was she by herself? Was someone there to care for her or just give her her medication?
She has changed so much from the crying baby that we met in China. She is blossoming into a sweet girl! She communicates with me and her dad( She came up to him while he was in the kitchen and actually handed him her bottle). She comes and takes us by the hand, (with a puzzle piece in hers) and takes us to the puzzle to help her with it. I thought that was pretty smart. She is finding nonverbal ways to tell us what she wants.
I just got to thinking of what it would be like, sitting in her crib, day after day, with almost no stimulation.
It's not something I want to think about but it helps to understand some of her different behaviors. Whatever comes our way, she was given to us for a reason and we will take care of her without question.
Each day brings a new smile. Especially since we found that she laughs at the camera flash!

Surgery.

Yesterday we arrived at CHOP to have Gracie's palate fixed. When I think of all the people that must bring their children to hospitals everyday, I wonder at their courage and fortitude. I couldn't do it. I was here one night with her( with a possible second looming) and I hate it. Don't get me wrong. These institutions and what they do for these children are amazing but to have to watch your child here is....
The surgeon said , afterward, that the surgery was "hard". Poor baby was swollen and her lips were all bloody. Gracie's only way of comforting herself when she is upset is sucking her thumb AND tucking her blankie( or wooby) under her chin. Well, now she cannot suck her thumb for a week.... A WEEK!. Last night was hellish. The meds wore off an hour before they were scheduled so she woke up and cried for an hour before they gave her the next dose. So I had to wrestle with her till the meds kicked in. I felt so bad for her. I did this to her. I made her miserable.
But there are so many kids here with more severe problems. I thank God that he blessed us with two healthy kids. My heart goes out to all those people supporting their children with serious problems. CHildren should not have to suffer. But they are the strongest of all God's creations.
We know several friends who are supporting their children through difficult times and our prayers go out to them everyday.
I count my blessings everyday , especially the two that were "made in China".

Giving Thanks.

This year we have so much to be thankful for. We have been blessed with not one, but two beautiful daughters. i don't know how this happened, but they are both beautiful, smart and brave. I cannot imagine what our lives would be like without them. Our special "Grace" is our best blessing this year. She is a revelation every day. I never thought I could be a parent of a special needs child before, but now I see that God has sent me Grace for many reasons and one is that I am now aware of how special these kids really are. Whatever lies ahead for her, we are now on her side and will be there for her no matter what. I keep thinking of her in the hospital by herself when she got her lip repaired. Now she won't have to go through anything alone ever again. Last year I learned to trust in God. He brought us out of a very bad situation to lead us to our Grace. We can have no greater gift than our family.

What's this?

Daily I wonder what goes through Gracie's little head? What does she think of all the new things she experiences everyday. I like to think that she is like Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Christmas" as he falls through the doorway into Christmas Town. Going from the colorless browns and greys of an orphanage to the bright lights and colors of a new world. She is just beginning to enjoy kisses and to come seeking them out. She is starting to give tentative "hugs'.
Everyday when we came home was something new. Heck, everyday in China had to be something new.
Day 1-taken home with these strange looking people who make strange noises. Heck, I make strange noises too. i'll show them.-At least one of them looks like me.
Day 2-they are still here. They took me to this place with all these other people who were eating. I want to be with the people that look like me. Maybe if I cry enough someone will take me.
Then at home.
A home. A room just for me.
The grocery store. CVS. A rainstorm with thunder. All these lights. More people that don't look like me and talk funny.
A seat in a car. (that one made me laugh!) A parade... where everyone dresses up stranger than they normally do. Trucks with sirens. Dogs.
LONG SLEEVES- (WHY DO THEY KEEP PUTTING THESE ON ME? I HATE THEM)
Why is it COLD outside?

The things that fascinate her are the small things. Boxes. String. Fuzz. Shadows. Her hands. A window screen. Anything that makes music. She makes you appreciate the small things.

I wish I could tell her and have her understand that we will always be there for her. We will give her everything that we are able to.
That when she wakes up crying at night food is ready JUST FOR HER and she has a mom who will hug her tears away if she will let her.
I know it will take time.
Everyday is a new journey and now I have a little person by my side again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.

A New Life. A New Family.

It started Sept 11, 2006. It ended Sept. 6, 2010. The long journey to our second adopted daughter from China, Grace Li. I think some of our friends thought we were crazy for waiting that long but now I think they think we are crazy for bringing a 2 year old into our somewhat stable family of 3. We adopted our first daughter from China in 2003 and she has lived up to her name (Joy) and beyond. We wanted to expand our family when we got her, but weren't ready to jump into the pool again right away. Little did we know it would take us 4 years to complete our family. The truth is we would STILL be waiting. Thanks to the Waiting Child Program at Holt International we received Gracie's information in January of this year and brought her home in September!!! If only we would have known earlier! But then... we wouldn't have gotten our Gracie!
The Waiting Child program has children of all ages and all special needs. After seeing all the wonderful children that were in our group, I can say that if anyone if considering this option but isn't sure about it, that they should really consider it. Each child in our group was a gift and they all fit so well with their families. We were all blessed to bring one of them home.
Our Gracie was in the orphanage for 2 years. No foster family. She had a cleft lift and a cleft palate. The lip was fixed in China and we will be fixing the palate next month. There are sure to be developmental issues, but we can handle them together. All the little girls who were with us were just starting to blossom as we began our trip home. Watching this process for the second time reminds me of how blessed we are to have not only "Joy" but God's "Grace" as well.