Here is one of those smiles for the camera!

Gracie's developement

Gracie was in a Chinese orphanage for 2 years and 4 months. In that time, she didn't get the attention a normal American child gets from day one. I've often wondered what the institutions where the girls came from were like, but not enough to want to visit. My feelings are that that part of there lives ended when they were handed to us, plus I know that if I visited one, I would want to bring home six more children.
I just started reading a book called "Silent Tears". The author, Kay Bratt, moved to China with her husband when he received a promotion from his company. She was able to volunteer at an orphanage close to where they lived and she writes about what she saw in the orphanage.
She writes upon her first visit:

As we entered the nursery the tragedy of it all struck me. The room was actually two open rooms joined by a half wall.On the one side were 20 metal cradles lined up for the bed babies-the ones who could not sit up-and on the other side were fifteen little wooden toddler beds for the babies seven months and up-those who could not walk.As soon as they could toddle they were moved to the next room, called the Kindergarten room. As I looked over the babies, I was shocked at the birth defects, disabilities and LACK of HUMAN CONTACT apparent in their listless eyes.....the room help approximately 25 babies and nowhere could I see any toys or diversions to entertain them:nor were there any coverings or soft padding to make them more comfortable. THey just lay in their cribs crying or staring vacantly at the water damaged ceiling and filthy walls.....Most of the babies had bedsores on the backs of their heads from lying in a crib all day (Gracie has a bald spot). Because of the lack of mobility, they had not developed muscle tone and most could not sit up, roll over or lift their heads. ... The nannies did not appear to understand why we gravitated toward the handicapped. It was obvious that they ignored the children in need and gave all their attention to the pretty ones who did not have disabilities."


Some people have asked if Gracie might be autistic. She might be, I don't know. If she is we will do what we have to do. But from what I've seen even just since her surgery, I think she is developmentally behind by a year. I think it's hard for us to imagine a child without simple human contact. Babies here get love and attention from day one. It's hard for me to think of her as not having anyone to hold her or snuggle with her. Especially when she had her lip repaired. Was she by herself? Was someone there to care for her or just give her her medication?
She has changed so much from the crying baby that we met in China. She is blossoming into a sweet girl! She communicates with me and her dad( She came up to him while he was in the kitchen and actually handed him her bottle). She comes and takes us by the hand, (with a puzzle piece in hers) and takes us to the puzzle to help her with it. I thought that was pretty smart. She is finding nonverbal ways to tell us what she wants.
I just got to thinking of what it would be like, sitting in her crib, day after day, with almost no stimulation.
It's not something I want to think about but it helps to understand some of her different behaviors. Whatever comes our way, she was given to us for a reason and we will take care of her without question.
Each day brings a new smile. Especially since we found that she laughs at the camera flash!

Surgery.

Yesterday we arrived at CHOP to have Gracie's palate fixed. When I think of all the people that must bring their children to hospitals everyday, I wonder at their courage and fortitude. I couldn't do it. I was here one night with her( with a possible second looming) and I hate it. Don't get me wrong. These institutions and what they do for these children are amazing but to have to watch your child here is....
The surgeon said , afterward, that the surgery was "hard". Poor baby was swollen and her lips were all bloody. Gracie's only way of comforting herself when she is upset is sucking her thumb AND tucking her blankie( or wooby) under her chin. Well, now she cannot suck her thumb for a week.... A WEEK!. Last night was hellish. The meds wore off an hour before they were scheduled so she woke up and cried for an hour before they gave her the next dose. So I had to wrestle with her till the meds kicked in. I felt so bad for her. I did this to her. I made her miserable.
But there are so many kids here with more severe problems. I thank God that he blessed us with two healthy kids. My heart goes out to all those people supporting their children with serious problems. CHildren should not have to suffer. But they are the strongest of all God's creations.
We know several friends who are supporting their children through difficult times and our prayers go out to them everyday.
I count my blessings everyday , especially the two that were "made in China".